Your confidence can go from zero to 90 within a day without you having to do anything extra.
It’s true that exposing yourself to new situations and challenges comes with a certain level of self-belief. Some of these situations and challenges are forced upon you or, if you have the luxury, you seek them.
However, there is no guarantee that you will become confident from every challenge. Some even have real potential to shatter it.
So, there has to be a fool-proof way for anyone to have and maintain a certain level of confidence in any condition. Without trying to alter routine, introspecting or becoming someone you might not be.
1. Treat someone else
‘Treat others just as you want to be treated.’ The golden rule is a perfect way to add joy and happiness into your life without doing what “you are supposed to do“. Even psychology states that we are more willing to do things for others than for ourselves.
If you don’t want to do some activity because it makes you uncomfortable “but your motivational speaker told you to” or you really wish you could, give the experience to a friend, sibling, colleague, parent, even a stranger.
2. Learn how to French kiss
There is a Master Class on how to french kiss. The tutorial is in category “wellness” not “sex, dating, relationships“.And there’s good reason why. French kissing involves more powerful erogenous zones than any other kissing. It is fun on it’s own without any further sexual activity while being intimate.
If sex and sexual commitments make you uncomfortable or self-conscious, or you simply want a dating skill, learn how to kiss like the French. A great kiss will leave you feeling good and make you memorable to anyone you have it with. This is especially true if further sexual activity does not happen.
3. Learn how to do/say what you want
Those deep, or dark, or taboo things you think about or feel about but you cannot express them? Write them somewhere to yourself. That message you have that you think is important to you or someone else? Say it. That hobby that you think is cool, share it. You are a consumer of your own wants and desires as much as everyone else.
The beauty of saying exactly what you think or feel is that you will never feel guilty or bad about it (unless someone tries to make you feel that way). There will be consequences yes, but even silence and hiding have consequences albeit more insidious.
Think about this: would you rather be punished by your own mind forever in silence or receive your baptism by fire in public and get over your fears, meet like-minded people, be free.
4. Write letters to people
Write letters you will never send. Treat yourself to this free therapy. Its is a good way to reframe any situation or person for well-being and move passed events. Address the person and say exactly what you wish you could say to them.
If it is a situation or person you fear, hate, dislike, your next encounter will be different. You will have a better position to engage with them without those emotions making you feel inadequate.
5. Get good at your job
If you cannot afford to quit, get better. If point 3 is where you grow your side hustle, here you pay more attention to what you might like about you job.
Find opportunities, ask for what you want. Find solutions to the problems you face on the job and you might help millions. Find out what you need and get it.
The 10% stays in your comfort zone.