It is normal, most likely harmless and can be a blessing in disguise.

It can be worrying and scary to witness your ‘ride or die’, ‘partner in crime’ cry over spilt milk (ex). Especially when she HAS milk (you). Not to mention it can be heartbreaking and cause to question trust and commitment.

Don’t stress about what it means. Here read ahead to find out how to deal with this blow to her and your relationship.

1. Understand where she is coming from

It is okay to be bothered when your girlfriend is affected by her ex’s actions but find out why.

This will save you from assuming the worst “is she still in love with him” and breaking your own heart.

Maybe she once envisioned a life with said ex, maybe he was a big part of her life for a long time.

These can trigger grieving for the lost dream.

Even though she is with you and has moved on, it does not automatically absolve her of feelings from the past.

2. Know your value in the relationship

Her feelings and actions do not reflect any shortcomings on your side and don’t mean she doesn’t love you. Simply be there for her, offer support, understanding, love, patience.

Your relationship will likely be stronger after this because: you did not run away from the issue and you were there for each other.

Above all, do not let the situation prompt you to propose to her. Don’t do it.

3. Take charge

Just because you are understanding doesn’t mean you should let her walk over you. Yes, she is entitled to her feelings.

But it is also telling of who she is and what the situation means by the way she treats you, herself and your relationship.

It is also tricky ground for emotional manipulation. If she openly shows how upset she is without regard for your feelings, it might be something to think about.

Follow her lead and be there for her to an extent.

4. Talk about it

Confront her about it. Talk about how you feel about the situation rather than accuse her.

Get her to tell you the truth about what is going on.

5. Give her space

Big events have a way of putting life in perspective.

Maybe this engagement has reawakened memories and past dreams or hopes that she is still not over.

Give her space and yourself space to think about what she really wants.

If it were something terrible or death, that is understandable. But devastation over an engagement has a few red flags poking out.

6. Discuss boundaries

Her reaction shows that she has not moved on from the past which is breaking a boundary for the current relationship.

Emotions towards past relationships is not to be taken lightly.

It is not healthy for herelf and the relationship. If you have not discussed boundaries, now is a good time.

,Pulse Uganda,

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