You want a definite answer that it is over. But even when you get it, you’re struggling to let go.

The complex feelings involved in moving on are…well…complex. It takes time, and a host of other individual struggles to get to the other side.

What it also takes, sometimes, is humor! Laughing at your situation or predicament has surprising benefits. Apart from the laugh-cry episode that brings a bit of relief, one of the benefits is that it can remove the seriousness and gloom for a little while.

Enter Andrew Weill’s take on “obvious signs that your relationship is over”. This compilation will either have you laughing or wondering if it has to come to “that”. Like he says in his bio “my experience in dating is very dated” this tax attorney has some old-fashioned break up tips.

1. Insults to your sex life

“After you have sex, she starts singing the Peggy Lee song, “Is That All There Is?”

2. Doesn’t want you around

“You say: “I’m going to watch the basketball game with the guys!” She responds: “I hope it goes to triple overtime!”

3. Doesn’t matter where you are, she doesn’t want you around

“You say: “Let’s plan a trip to Vegas!” She agrees to handle the arrangements. When you see the itinerary, you see that you are staying at different hotels. And taking separate flights.”

4. Exhumes the past

“She says, “I just had a long talk with your ex, for the first time. We agree on so much!”

5. She really doesn’t want you around

“She joins 24-Hour Fitness, and stays there 24 hours.”

6. Really really doesn’t want you around

“She leaves a brochure advertising a year-long monastic retreat out. When asked, she says, “Oh, I think that would be a logical next step on our spiritual path.” You: “I didn’t think this kind of thing interested you.” She: “It doesn’t. It’s just for you.”

7. Sides with the enemy

“You have a grumpy uncle who always puts you down. She asks, “When can we see your uncle again? I enjoy those visits so much!”

8. Low tolerance for you

“You tell her you want to have a long talk with her. She reaches for her NoDoz (caffeine pills).”

9. She would rather not exist in your memory

“You forget her birthday, and she makes no comment. When you belatedly remember and apologize, she says, “No problem, it was the best birthday in years!”

10. Take the mighty hint

“You call to tell her that due to slick road conditions, you skidded and the car crashed into a tree. She worriedly asks, “Is the tree all right?”

The list above is intended for humor purposes. Don’t use any of the tips as a break up line. Also, it doesn’t have to get to this for a relationship to be over.

,Pulse Uganda,

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