It stopped being cute in high school, just like your rebellious stage.

These sugary treats of feelings for strangers and familiar faces are usually harmless. Mostly because you grow up to realise that they don’t translate into anything substantial.

They add emotion and excitement to your life. Smoke and mirrors filter.

But even in this harmless state, they can do some harm and it is time to stop telling yourself they are ‘just’ chrushes.

Here’s why.

Embarrassing

They are embarrassing for everyone involved. It could be embarrassing for you if it is your secret, and for the other party once they find out. A punch to your confidence.

If you don’t have a chance with them, it can really rain on your esteem.

Let’s not even mention when the other person doesn’t react to your feelings.

When you’re young it can be an excuse for your ‘acting out’, poor performance, among other things.

In adulthood it is just embarrassing.

Stops you from pursuing anything real

It can be an excuse to not take any measures to have a dating life or pursue a relationship outside your imagination.

Whether deliberate or unconscious, a crush can stunt your emotions for any mature relationship.

You experience most of the emotions of being in love without even being with someone.

Or worse, you hold out hope that you will one day have them. Say this day comes and you have someone, you might sabotage yourself.

Expensive

The financial constraints on teenagers is probaby what has kept civilisation on its progress.

Imagine money and resources in the hands of an impulsive and emotional teenager with a romantic interest. Imagine it well because that’s what happens at any age when a crush is involved.

The difference is that now you have bills, a routine, goals and values, all which can be jeopardised for a crush.

Stress and distractions

Emotional expenses on crushes have potential for lasting damage. They usually come and go fast. But what value do they really hold?

Even if you hide it well and don’t act on it, it alters your behaviour and personality. You might pursue things you would not have if not for that crush. Even if they are positive pursuits, the drive behind them is likely not.

Encourages immaturity

Dating a crush usually doesn’t pan out well because of unrealistic expectations or no expectations at all. It is usually based on a fantasy rather than who you are and who the other person is.

All this is fertile ground for obsession, co-dependency, toxic relationships and toxic personalities development. Worse, you cut off love and relationships because of a terrible experience.

,Pulse Uganda,

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